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Cards for Republicans & Democrats

In case you haven’t been paying attention, or perhaps trying really hard not to pay attention, this year is an election year. This means that, in addition to having to sit through all the negative attack ads that are aired during your favorite TV shows, we’re a lot more likely to get into arguments with our friends over political issues.

The subject can be touchy, and for that friend who just doesn’t see political things your way, a simple phone call or online message may not be enough, and in fact may send the two of you into a downward spiral that ends in hurt feelings and explicatives. But never fear, there is a solution: send your politically unenlightnened friend a greeting card! Political views are hard to change, but in a season where one too many discussions about tax cuts, healthcare, or how exactly it is that altitude affects debate performance can leave everyone with bruised egos, the best way to patch things up is with a handsome greeting card.

There are many ways you can do a political greeting card, and while a nice cordial tone is always key, you can also be creative abou it. Here are a few things to say in political cards that are thoughtful, informed, and politically neutral enough to be broadcast on CNN.

1.  Despite our differences, let’s focus on how it’s morning in America, even though this card probably arrived during the afternoon.

2.  You still have a high approval rating from me!

3.  Your friendship is worth more to me than any super PAC could buy in ad time.

4.  Even though we don’t agree, I may still register to be part of your party, as long as you’re talking about a party you’re going to throw this weekend!

5.  We might disagree on politics, but we still get along really well a veto-proof majority of the time.

6.  Staying mad at each other would be unconstitutional under the 8th amendment.

7.  Obama was elected on hope and change, but nothing could hope to change what you mean to me.

Well, you get the gist of it. Election day is November 6th, so make sure you send your card before then. and make sure not to mix it up with your mail in ballot. And if you really want to score points with your friend, sign your card by putting your name and then, “and I approved this message.”